Define: Saturday Night
5 months ago
Thursday, November 5, 2009
HELLO!
WOW, I havent updated this thing in aaages. Just dropped by to say hello. There will be an actual update about everything thats been going on shortly!
Monday, April 20, 2009
Sunday, April 5, 2009
I miss her.
Every time we talk, I feel like she is the only one who really knows. Knows me. Knows how I really am. She doesn't judge, she doesnt criticize.
We just fit. Shes knows I'll love her no matter what. I know she'll love me regardless aswell.
She's always mentioning how much she misses me, and how bad she wants everything back to how it was.
As if its not torture enough that we're so far away from one another.
She was the one who had my heart since the beginning. I guess I was just too dense to realize it.
I screwed it up so bad, yet she's there. Still. Seemingly,Waiting for me. But I don't want her to wait..She could find someone. What is she waiting for?Even if its not me, what is it?
I'm waiting for her. I know it.
In some ways it makes sense why I've never really jumped into another relationship, even though I've had the chance.
Nobody will ever compare. I miss her so bad and I dont know how to tell her.
If I had the guts I would call her and tell her how much she means to me. That now, I dont give a fuck about the age gap. I never cared. Everyone else cared.4 years and some odd months.. Come on! thats nothing. If I can wait this long, I'll wait even longer. As long as it takes.
Nothing compares.
Every time we talk, I feel like she is the only one who really knows. Knows me. Knows how I really am. She doesn't judge, she doesnt criticize.
We just fit. Shes knows I'll love her no matter what. I know she'll love me regardless aswell.
She's always mentioning how much she misses me, and how bad she wants everything back to how it was.
As if its not torture enough that we're so far away from one another.
She was the one who had my heart since the beginning. I guess I was just too dense to realize it.
I screwed it up so bad, yet she's there. Still. Seemingly,Waiting for me. But I don't want her to wait..She could find someone. What is she waiting for?Even if its not me, what is it?
I'm waiting for her. I know it.
In some ways it makes sense why I've never really jumped into another relationship, even though I've had the chance.
Nobody will ever compare. I miss her so bad and I dont know how to tell her.
If I had the guts I would call her and tell her how much she means to me. That now, I dont give a fuck about the age gap. I never cared. Everyone else cared.4 years and some odd months.. Come on! thats nothing. If I can wait this long, I'll wait even longer. As long as it takes.
Nothing compares.
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
Coffee + Sunrise = Perfect.
No sleep again last night.
Sheesh, I really need to fix my sleeping pattern.
I tried,and tried,and tried some more. I literally layed there for hours. NOTHING.
Oh well, I suppose its nice to be up before 7.
Beautiful sunrise, birds coming out to greet the new day, snow glistening with the first appearance of the days sunlight.
I suppose I can survive off of a little coffee boost for a bit, until I inevitably fall asleep on the couch later.
The only thing that ruins that image of said above is our half-broken fence from all of the storms we've gotten this past winter. And our half dead tree that was pulverized by the storms as well.
I'm guessing that I'll be helping alot with the renovations. The list is ever-growing.
Spring is the absolute best time of year. No more snow, no more sad trees with no leaves to blow around, no more gross brown grass. Sadly, our spring hasn't quite come yet. It's pretty odd, usually by this time we don't get any more snow storms. I suppose that weather is always changing, its truly unpredictable.
My aunt Nanette called last night, with a friendly invite to her place and also bad news. My aunt Phyllis is in the hospital, and all I know so far is she is Anemic and she had to get a blood transfusion. She has lost over 40 pounds, and she wasn't a huge lady to start with. This weekend I plan on going to see her. My mother though, I'm not so sure will even bother. She's got this weird thing that she wont visit someone in the hospital. Last person she ever visited was my grandfather..about 5 years ago. I think part of it had to do with him losing his memory, and not remembering mom every time she went in to visit.
Word also got through my family that I am going through some tough times and that I quit my job. Wow, word travels fast in the family! ( my aunt Karen called last week and asked how I was.. I'm guessing that's how the grapevine started.)
Even so, I'm glad that they are concerned. I told Nanette not to worry, that things are slowly coming together for me. Even though I felt like what I was saying was somewhat deceiving, I truly am trying my best. School is my No.1 concern right now.
That's all for now!
Sheesh, I really need to fix my sleeping pattern.
I tried,and tried,and tried some more. I literally layed there for hours. NOTHING.
Oh well, I suppose its nice to be up before 7.
Beautiful sunrise, birds coming out to greet the new day, snow glistening with the first appearance of the days sunlight.
I suppose I can survive off of a little coffee boost for a bit, until I inevitably fall asleep on the couch later.
The only thing that ruins that image of said above is our half-broken fence from all of the storms we've gotten this past winter. And our half dead tree that was pulverized by the storms as well.
I'm guessing that I'll be helping alot with the renovations. The list is ever-growing.
Spring is the absolute best time of year. No more snow, no more sad trees with no leaves to blow around, no more gross brown grass. Sadly, our spring hasn't quite come yet. It's pretty odd, usually by this time we don't get any more snow storms. I suppose that weather is always changing, its truly unpredictable.
My aunt Nanette called last night, with a friendly invite to her place and also bad news. My aunt Phyllis is in the hospital, and all I know so far is she is Anemic and she had to get a blood transfusion. She has lost over 40 pounds, and she wasn't a huge lady to start with. This weekend I plan on going to see her. My mother though, I'm not so sure will even bother. She's got this weird thing that she wont visit someone in the hospital. Last person she ever visited was my grandfather..about 5 years ago. I think part of it had to do with him losing his memory, and not remembering mom every time she went in to visit.
Word also got through my family that I am going through some tough times and that I quit my job. Wow, word travels fast in the family! ( my aunt Karen called last week and asked how I was.. I'm guessing that's how the grapevine started.)
Even so, I'm glad that they are concerned. I told Nanette not to worry, that things are slowly coming together for me. Even though I felt like what I was saying was somewhat deceiving, I truly am trying my best. School is my No.1 concern right now.
That's all for now!
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Friday, March 20, 2009
Everyone seemed so happy. Everything seemed so right.
I need more days like these.
Where friends are around every corner,
and nobody gives a shit about anything but the moment.
Just a week later today, I feel completely different. I feel so blah. Life is so weird. One day you can feel invincible, and the next invisible.
Saturday, March 14, 2009
Weird Dream #2.
Last night, I had probably one of the weirdest dreams I've ever had.
I was with all of my friends. They would show up at random times throughout the dream
the only person that went through the whole dream with me was Alex.
The dream felt so real... mostly because in the dream it was pouring outside.
It felt so amazing though, and me and Alex were just doing what we were there to do in the first place..
The setting was in the desert. yet it was raining, and the rain was just ridiculously heavy.
you would think that we would run for cover, but no, everyone just kept on running through this course. ( It seemed like it was an unlimited amount of staircases, and for some reason we would sometimes jump onto the rails and slide down them.) some went down, some went up.
we got to this point that the staircases stopped and there was a road, and a place to eat.
Suddenly, there was lightning. or..something like lightning. The rain stopped instantly.There was thunder and lightning at the exact same time. I can still clearly picture it in my head..it was unbelievable. it lasted for about 30 seconds and then ( this is the part i still don't understand) the lightning stopped, or whatever it was, and then about 10 UFOs came out of nowhere. A hologram of some of the people inside of them showed up in the sky.. the colours that showed up were unbelievable.Blue's, Pink's..almost as if a rainbow, that wasn't formed, showed up out of nowhere.There was a group of a good 50 people, all looking up watching. It was night time. A human face showed up.I only heard "do not be afraid, we have come to.." and then I blacked out. Last thing I remember is Kate ( friend from high school) catch me before I fell. I woke up with her holding my hand, and everyone just went along doing the same thing we were doing before that happened. The staircases. Only It was day time again. Eventually Alex and I got through all of these staircases, and instead of doing that, we were trying to get over booby-trapped planks of wood, big hills of mud, several random things that made it hard to get across. There were litters of kittens and puppies at random places.. after this point I don't really remember much.
Much of this dream I don't understand. It switches from one thing to another. Why are my family and friends all going through the desert, through a course? why did it switch from day to night? why was there pouring rain, then no rain at all, then a crazy lighting looking bolt in the sky, and then "alien" contact? why did I pass out, and then we were back doing the course again? kittens and puppies? Hmm.
I was with all of my friends. They would show up at random times throughout the dream
the only person that went through the whole dream with me was Alex.
The dream felt so real... mostly because in the dream it was pouring outside.
It felt so amazing though, and me and Alex were just doing what we were there to do in the first place..
The setting was in the desert. yet it was raining, and the rain was just ridiculously heavy.
you would think that we would run for cover, but no, everyone just kept on running through this course. ( It seemed like it was an unlimited amount of staircases, and for some reason we would sometimes jump onto the rails and slide down them.) some went down, some went up.
we got to this point that the staircases stopped and there was a road, and a place to eat.
Suddenly, there was lightning. or..something like lightning. The rain stopped instantly.There was thunder and lightning at the exact same time. I can still clearly picture it in my head..it was unbelievable. it lasted for about 30 seconds and then ( this is the part i still don't understand) the lightning stopped, or whatever it was, and then about 10 UFOs came out of nowhere. A hologram of some of the people inside of them showed up in the sky.. the colours that showed up were unbelievable.Blue's, Pink's..almost as if a rainbow, that wasn't formed, showed up out of nowhere.There was a group of a good 50 people, all looking up watching. It was night time. A human face showed up.I only heard "do not be afraid, we have come to.." and then I blacked out. Last thing I remember is Kate ( friend from high school) catch me before I fell. I woke up with her holding my hand, and everyone just went along doing the same thing we were doing before that happened. The staircases. Only It was day time again. Eventually Alex and I got through all of these staircases, and instead of doing that, we were trying to get over booby-trapped planks of wood, big hills of mud, several random things that made it hard to get across. There were litters of kittens and puppies at random places.. after this point I don't really remember much.
Much of this dream I don't understand. It switches from one thing to another. Why are my family and friends all going through the desert, through a course? why did it switch from day to night? why was there pouring rain, then no rain at all, then a crazy lighting looking bolt in the sky, and then "alien" contact? why did I pass out, and then we were back doing the course again? kittens and puppies? Hmm.
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