My heart, It Beats, Beats For Only You..

im feeling defeated.walking with the weight of the world on my shoulders.trying to hide the things that i shouldnt hide.i try to be proud,and outgoing,but i cant help but cover up.my eyes are closing on me.my arms are weak, for all the weight ive been holding up is straining me.i can't keep up.my legs are giving up, as i try to run away from my life.my hands are clutching my past, my future, my everything.i crave a drink. i crave whenever i stress.i crave water, beer, anything.i dont want to feel out of this world. out of my realm.but really, i do. deep down.my heavy eyes close, but i lay awake.for hours.i see myself and i dont see the me who was youthful and free.yet i yearn to be that, always.i want to run and scream at the top of my lungs, jump around and be myself for once. whoever that may be.im tired of being alone.my heart is beating but it doesnt have that special beat that it deserves,,that it once had been given.Sarah Theresa Bruce, Where have you gone?i keep looking for you but i find an empty shell.please come back to me.