Wheres Your Head At?

Falling memories, passing by
my faith has never exhisted.
my mind screams for sincerity
yet my mouth wanders
the nothingness clutches me.
my own thoughts eluding me.
i take in the room. one second at a time
tick.tock.tick.tock.
i feel completely under-estimated.
she looks at me with love,and compassion
i can see it in her eyes.
she steps forward and reaches for my hand
her hand goes right through mine.
i look at her in shock.
but i love(d) her. she knows it.
her mouth grows into a smile.
i look into her eyes, and open my mouth to speak
nothing comes out. not even a whisper.
i feel reality calling me back and clutching my heart
clutching my dreams.
a dream
it was just a dream.
just a dream.
i curl up into a ball of misery
of a broken heart
my broken dreams haunt me.

they will tease, and poke.
there's no controlling them.
they will come and go as they please.
she will come and go as she pleases.

i ask myself "why the torture?"
and i know why.
because she was my dream. before i even met her.
i will dream of her until my body becomes one with the ground.
but im tired of this dream.
i want to trade it in for a new dream.
a new her. a new amazing dream.
not this one that breaks my heart.again and again.
please?