Time To Look Back.

This has been an interesting year. to say the least.
I have travelled, I have lost some family, I have become a different person.
I've made mistakes. Who doesnt?
I have calmed down, significantly. Its as if the child in me has given up.
I guess thats what happens when your life revolves around work. Believe it or not, if someone were to approach me that knew me in highschool, I wouldnt know what to say to them. So, hows life going? Well, im not sure.Stressful days at work, not knowing what to do with myself, with my life.So many aspirations, going to waste, because i dont know what to do with myself.Thanks for asking though!


To sum up this year would be extremely hard.
Ive seen the beautiful mountains and desert in New Mexico.
I've been to the warm and beautiful Dominican Republic.
I've met some of the most amazing people i will ever know in my life. and not met them, at the same time.
I lost my Sister. Or what i would consider one, because im a pet lover.
I lost my grandfather, who had it coming for a long time. All that we did was patiently wait.
I sat at the corner of his bed, wondering what the man was actually like. what he had actually gone through, what the war was actually like. Maybe thats why he was so quiet at family gatherings. Maybe i got that from moms side of the family. Reserved. But so far away from shy.
To some it may not make any sense. But its true.

I have so many questions about life that its disturbing. Nobody can answer these questions. Does anyone else in the world think like me? feel like me? someone out there must.

Sheltered. Thats what i was always told.
well guess what? im not. if i was, i dont know when.
Im more curious and adventurous than mostly anyone i know.
yet scared to spread my wings.
scared to fail.
if i fail, i may fall.Again.

everytime i hear the song "Sober" by Pink, i think of myself last year. and some of this year.
a mess. Calling for help.
and none.

the only person that can really help you in this world is yourself.
heres to getting my life completely on track. slowly, im getting there.