http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZYV1aBDH7cA&feature=related
Sad.
Monday, April 20, 2009
Sunday, April 5, 2009
I miss her.
Every time we talk, I feel like she is the only one who really knows. Knows me. Knows how I really am. She doesn't judge, she doesnt criticize.
We just fit. Shes knows I'll love her no matter what. I know she'll love me regardless aswell.
She's always mentioning how much she misses me, and how bad she wants everything back to how it was.
As if its not torture enough that we're so far away from one another.
She was the one who had my heart since the beginning. I guess I was just too dense to realize it.
I screwed it up so bad, yet she's there. Still. Seemingly,Waiting for me. But I don't want her to wait..She could find someone. What is she waiting for?Even if its not me, what is it?
I'm waiting for her. I know it.
In some ways it makes sense why I've never really jumped into another relationship, even though I've had the chance.
Nobody will ever compare. I miss her so bad and I dont know how to tell her.
If I had the guts I would call her and tell her how much she means to me. That now, I dont give a fuck about the age gap. I never cared. Everyone else cared.4 years and some odd months.. Come on! thats nothing. If I can wait this long, I'll wait even longer. As long as it takes.
Nothing compares.
Every time we talk, I feel like she is the only one who really knows. Knows me. Knows how I really am. She doesn't judge, she doesnt criticize.
We just fit. Shes knows I'll love her no matter what. I know she'll love me regardless aswell.
She's always mentioning how much she misses me, and how bad she wants everything back to how it was.
As if its not torture enough that we're so far away from one another.
She was the one who had my heart since the beginning. I guess I was just too dense to realize it.
I screwed it up so bad, yet she's there. Still. Seemingly,Waiting for me. But I don't want her to wait..She could find someone. What is she waiting for?Even if its not me, what is it?
I'm waiting for her. I know it.
In some ways it makes sense why I've never really jumped into another relationship, even though I've had the chance.
Nobody will ever compare. I miss her so bad and I dont know how to tell her.
If I had the guts I would call her and tell her how much she means to me. That now, I dont give a fuck about the age gap. I never cared. Everyone else cared.4 years and some odd months.. Come on! thats nothing. If I can wait this long, I'll wait even longer. As long as it takes.
Nothing compares.
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
Coffee + Sunrise = Perfect.
No sleep again last night.
Sheesh, I really need to fix my sleeping pattern.
I tried,and tried,and tried some more. I literally layed there for hours. NOTHING.
Oh well, I suppose its nice to be up before 7.
Beautiful sunrise, birds coming out to greet the new day, snow glistening with the first appearance of the days sunlight.
I suppose I can survive off of a little coffee boost for a bit, until I inevitably fall asleep on the couch later.
The only thing that ruins that image of said above is our half-broken fence from all of the storms we've gotten this past winter. And our half dead tree that was pulverized by the storms as well.
I'm guessing that I'll be helping alot with the renovations. The list is ever-growing.
Spring is the absolute best time of year. No more snow, no more sad trees with no leaves to blow around, no more gross brown grass. Sadly, our spring hasn't quite come yet. It's pretty odd, usually by this time we don't get any more snow storms. I suppose that weather is always changing, its truly unpredictable.
My aunt Nanette called last night, with a friendly invite to her place and also bad news. My aunt Phyllis is in the hospital, and all I know so far is she is Anemic and she had to get a blood transfusion. She has lost over 40 pounds, and she wasn't a huge lady to start with. This weekend I plan on going to see her. My mother though, I'm not so sure will even bother. She's got this weird thing that she wont visit someone in the hospital. Last person she ever visited was my grandfather..about 5 years ago. I think part of it had to do with him losing his memory, and not remembering mom every time she went in to visit.
Word also got through my family that I am going through some tough times and that I quit my job. Wow, word travels fast in the family! ( my aunt Karen called last week and asked how I was.. I'm guessing that's how the grapevine started.)
Even so, I'm glad that they are concerned. I told Nanette not to worry, that things are slowly coming together for me. Even though I felt like what I was saying was somewhat deceiving, I truly am trying my best. School is my No.1 concern right now.
That's all for now!
Sheesh, I really need to fix my sleeping pattern.
I tried,and tried,and tried some more. I literally layed there for hours. NOTHING.
Oh well, I suppose its nice to be up before 7.
Beautiful sunrise, birds coming out to greet the new day, snow glistening with the first appearance of the days sunlight.
I suppose I can survive off of a little coffee boost for a bit, until I inevitably fall asleep on the couch later.
The only thing that ruins that image of said above is our half-broken fence from all of the storms we've gotten this past winter. And our half dead tree that was pulverized by the storms as well.
I'm guessing that I'll be helping alot with the renovations. The list is ever-growing.
Spring is the absolute best time of year. No more snow, no more sad trees with no leaves to blow around, no more gross brown grass. Sadly, our spring hasn't quite come yet. It's pretty odd, usually by this time we don't get any more snow storms. I suppose that weather is always changing, its truly unpredictable.
My aunt Nanette called last night, with a friendly invite to her place and also bad news. My aunt Phyllis is in the hospital, and all I know so far is she is Anemic and she had to get a blood transfusion. She has lost over 40 pounds, and she wasn't a huge lady to start with. This weekend I plan on going to see her. My mother though, I'm not so sure will even bother. She's got this weird thing that she wont visit someone in the hospital. Last person she ever visited was my grandfather..about 5 years ago. I think part of it had to do with him losing his memory, and not remembering mom every time she went in to visit.
Word also got through my family that I am going through some tough times and that I quit my job. Wow, word travels fast in the family! ( my aunt Karen called last week and asked how I was.. I'm guessing that's how the grapevine started.)
Even so, I'm glad that they are concerned. I told Nanette not to worry, that things are slowly coming together for me. Even though I felt like what I was saying was somewhat deceiving, I truly am trying my best. School is my No.1 concern right now.
That's all for now!
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