Wheres Your Head At?

Falling memories, passing by
my faith has never exhisted.
my mind screams for sincerity
yet my mouth wanders
the nothingness clutches me.
my own thoughts eluding me.
i take in the room. one second at a time
tick.tock.tick.tock.
i feel completely under-estimated.
she looks at me with love,and compassion
i can see it in her eyes.
she steps forward and reaches for my hand
her hand goes right through mine.
i look at her in shock.
but i love(d) her. she knows it.
her mouth grows into a smile.
i look into her eyes, and open my mouth to speak
nothing comes out. not even a whisper.
i feel reality calling me back and clutching my heart
clutching my dreams.
a dream
it was just a dream.
just a dream.
i curl up into a ball of misery
of a broken heart
my broken dreams haunt me.

they will tease, and poke.
there's no controlling them.
they will come and go as they please.
she will come and go as she pleases.

i ask myself "why the torture?"
and i know why.
because she was my dream. before i even met her.
i will dream of her until my body becomes one with the ground.
but im tired of this dream.
i want to trade it in for a new dream.
a new her. a new amazing dream.
not this one that breaks my heart.again and again.
please?

The Veronicas

ARE THEY GAY??
or bi?
or one straight, one gay?
they are totally pulling a katy perry, if they are straight.

check it out :

Guess This Song.

It seems every time i listen to the radio in the early morning, a good song that i can really relate to plays.

I had to cut some of the lyrics out, just so i dont give the song away straight off the bat.
do you know the song?


she rules her life like a bird in flight
and who will be her lover?
all your life you've never seen
a woman , taken by the wind
would you stay if she promised you heaven?
will you ever win.....?

she is like a cat in the dark
and then she is the darkness
she rules her life like a fine skylark
and when the sky is starless
all your life you've never seen
a woman..taken by the wind...
would you stay if she promised you heaven?
will you ever win.....?
will you ever win.....?

Dreams unwind.

Love's a state of mind.

Odd and Crazy.

So this weekend was probably the weirdest weekend i've had in a while. Almost as weird as the time a 30-something-year-old woman tried to make out with me when i was bar hopping with some friends a few months back.

Saturday night, my Aunt and Uncle held this party. Just a random party. But it just so happened that one of the people coming was having a birthday the next day, so we kind of celebrated her birthday too.She was trashed. I wouldn't doubt if she was way hungover on her b-day. Her boyfriend was a total asshole. he had the attention span of a 4-year-old kid. my aunt couldnt stand him either, which was pretty funny. i just ended up ignoring him.

Anyways! im going to get to the main point of the story.

This couple came and one works with my Uncle. My Uncle works as a mechanic.
She's been working there for around a month, and I thought her boyfriend was a cool guy.
a few hours passed by, pretty much everyone was drunk, and I'm pretty sure im one of few that still knew what they were actually doing and what was going on.
the girl from my uncles work got soooo drunk. her and b-day girl were dancing in the living room , and i'd go in every once in a while to talk to them..or at least try.

Eventually B-day girl stopped dancing and the other girl was still dancing. I went to go and talk to the one who was still dancing ( I'm not sure what her name is.. I know it started with N. So her name will be N in this)
Anyways, I'm sitting there, trying to talk to her over this BLASTING music, and..
and..
...
she kissed me. oh my god she kissed me. So im sitting there freaking out, because her boyfriend is in the next room. then she goes off saying " ohmygod im so sorry, i love my boyfriend sooo much bla bla bla.." and i just said " hey, i didnt kiss you, you kissed me." then i kind of walked away from N and went to the bathroom. luckily i wasnt USING the washroom cause she walked right in!
Then she went on to try and get my belt undone..and..ahem. you know. Trying to do stuff.Saying stuff to me, saying shes done it before, that shes bi..and i dont doubt it.and she was really pretty and all, but i don't do that shit. Especially when shes so drunk and has a boyfriend. UGH. it isnt the first time this has happened.
I felt sooo bad, had to push her off, then she tried making out with me.. had to push her off some more.. oh man. i had to tell her to leave. then the rest of the night i didnt bother talking to her, and her and her boyfriend left about 10 minutes later.
soo... again, not the first time something like this has happened.
and i have no idea how she knew about me, unless of course if its obvious. which i dont doubt. Im not a butch or anything like that, but i think people are crazy if they dont guess that im gay.
so..yeah. Im sure this will happen again.
oh, the wonders of alcohol.
ughhh...